Why This Pastor's Family Celebrates Halloween

 (Please note: No dragons were slain and no loot was plundered in the making of this opinion post!)

*This is a slightly updated re-post from 2010. How cute were these little kids?*

Many Christian families choose not to celebrate Halloween. Some avoid it like the plague. Some try to redeem it by celebrating the Harvest. Others fully embrace it. We choose to celebrate this particular holiday together as a family, much to the dismay of some. And here's why:  

In a nutshell, I guess it boils down to the fact that I don’t see a reason not to celebrate it. It’s a rip-roarin’ fun holiday! Most of the reasons that Christians typically have for not celebrating Halloween lie in the holiday’s roots.

Which, if you put a lot of stock in the roots, I can see how you could be convicted not to celebrate it. I’m not condemning those who choose not to. I just don’t share that conviction.

I don’t really care about its roots; I care about what it means for me and my family today. And what it means for me and my family today is getting a chance to dress up (which we do often anyway, you ought to see our dress up closet!) and show up on the door step of some of our favorite people who spoil the kids with special treats. They like getting to eat way more candy then they would get to on any other day of the year and I like getting a "mommy tax" from my kids' stash!

We don’t conjure up evil spirits. We don’t try to communicate with the dead. We don’t play awful tricks on people who don’t give us candy. I don’t think that getting dressed up and trick-or-treating is somehow inadvertently worshipping evil anymore than I think someone who gives a gift to someone else on December 25th (a tradition with its roots based in the Christmas Story found in the Bible) is inadvertently worshipping Christ.

I can guarantee you that my kids are clueless as to the fact that Halloween has its roots in pagan tradition. And, even if they knew, I’d like to argue that it doesn’t matter as long as that’s not why we’re celebrating it today.

I think I could probably argue that we shouldn’t celebrate any holiday if we were focused solely on the roots of our traditions, or if we examined everything that happened during celebrations and steered clear of any that included ‘worldly happenings’. The way that we as Americans today celebrate any particular holiday is based on a complicated blend of Christian and pagan traditions that have been picked up, twisted, changed, and rearranged over the course of time.

It’s like saying that we shouldn’t celebrate the fourth of July because a lot of people blow things up on that day. Or that we’re going to avoid Valentine’s Day because it glorifies lust and has its roots in Greek mythology. Or that we shouldn’t color our mashed potatoes green on St. Patrick’s Day because a lot of people color their beer green. I could go on and on, and these aren’t even our major holidays that are steeped in tradition!

I know it's not quite this simple, but I'm trying to not dissect every aspect of Halloween in one short post.

The truth is, on Halloween I’m not celebrating anything. I’m not worshipping anything. I’m not even trying to redeem the holiday by pretending that I’m celebrating the harvest (because seriously, when did the harvest include candy--like yummy kit-kats and snickers--wrapped in shiny wrappers?). Honestly, I’m just enjoying a fun day with my children. I’m not going to pretend it’s any more complicated than that, because in my mind it isn’t!

Again, for those of you for whom it goes deeper and is more complicated, I respect your decision to refrain from celebrating Halloween. This is by no means any attempt at making anyone feel bad for the way they do, or don’t celebrate on this, or any other holiday.

I’m simply saying, though it isn’t anything profound, this is why we do what we do here in our own little corner of the world. Keepin’ it real…

p.s. If you're curious what we do with Santa and why we don't celebrate Valentine's Day, you can click on the links in this paragraph.  



Questioning what’s “Normal”, what is a mom to do?

I feel a bit like my family is racing down a long corridor alongside other people at breakneck speed. The problem is that no one in this huge crowd, including myself, has bothered to stop and ask where we’re headed and why we’re trying to get there so quickly. We’re all just doing what everyone else is doing. After all, if everyone else is going the same direction at more or less the same speed, it must be the way that it “should” be done. Right?

Right?

I feel like I’m in a rat race. A pointless one. One where no one emerges as a winner. And if someone so much as happens to get to the end of the race unscathed, it’s the exception not the rule.

Most of the rats at the end of the race are beat up. They’ve been trampled on. They’re weary. They are weak.

The rats in this proverbial race—they are our kids. Our most precious commodity. Our pride and joy. Our delight. Our future.

This past Fall I sent my kids off to school somewhat reluctantly. We had a wonderful Summer together as a family and we enjoyed a season of a slower-paced life. When September rolled around we began scurrying around.

“Hurry up, we’re going to be late.”

“Quick, grab your stuff, let’s go.”

“Faster, faster, faster. Focus… let’s get a move on.”

We re-entered the corridor at the same speed as everyone else. We fully engaged in the rat race. Again. Our little legs are spinning so quickly that we dare not stop—lest we get trampled on. It’s an hour long commute (we provide transportation for our kids to a public school across town so they can participate in a Dual Immersion Program). It’s 6.5 hours of my kids day. Their days are filled with stuff that helps my kids identify and keep pace with the other kids in the race. Plenty of what they learn is good and beneficial. But, some of what they learn, honestly, I could do without. It’s not that I’m against public school. But this whole year I just continue to question, “Is this what’s best for our family?”

Before Christmas our kids had a blast as they took part in our church’s Christmas program. They both had fairly significant parts and worked diligently at learning and practicing their lines. I’m not against my kids being in plays, but it took a lot of time. They rehearsed their lines individually, together with each other and as a group several times a week over a couple of months. It was a great activity and my kids LOVED it. But it was just one more thing on an already full plate.

We finally broke down and put our daughter into athletics. She’s now a proud member of our local YMCA’s swim team. And to help our son make it onto the swim team someday too, we have enrolled him in swim lessons as well. It’s more like a swim club than a swim team, which comes at a pace and price I prefer over typical swim team. It’s not that I have anything against sports. It’s just another thing. More time. More days. More racing around. More keeping up with the Joneses.

We signed our kids up for the Wednesday night kids program at church again this year. I’m not against kids programs at church and I happen to love the one that our church does. It’s just another night of the week. It’s just more “Get up and go.” Followed by some, “Hurry up and wait.”

We’re a foster family. When the need arises, we all pitch in and do our best to provide a safe, loving home for kids who don’t have anyone else to take care of them. It’s a good thing. It’s a really good thing. It’s just another persons schedule to juggle. More meetings. More appointments. More court hearings and caseworker visits and family visits and phone calls.

I feel like I’m so protective of my family's time. We’ve said “no” to plenty of good things. Scouts. Sports. Music. Dance. Camps. They are all things that could have some benefits for my kids. They could all be a positive experience for them. Yet, even with the amount of things we say no to, we’re still participating in the rat race.

Add to the mix the fact that my husband is a Lead Pastor, and you get a whole new set of craziness added in. First of all, Sunday is a work day. There is no weekend for our family. He has Fridays off, but the kids are in school. There’s Saturday. You know the day when all of the other side events, Birthday parties and get-togethers are. And there’s small group and weeknight meetings and retreats and men’s events and women’s events, emergencies, trainings, conferences, VBS, weeks of prayer, etc.

Then there’s me. In my “spare time” I sub for the school district. I’m a standardized patient at the local medical school. I create special order cakes. I am a foster mom. A taxi, a photographer, a hair dresser, chef, maid, laundress, friend, pastor’s wife, counselor, mediator, fellow rat-racer.

I’m so tired of this rat race. Something has to give.

I just want to be home long enough to bake a loaf of bread or batch of cookies with my kids. I want to enjoy more time with my kids, more time with my husband, more time as a family. I long for a simpler life. I want to nourish my family with healthy food that isn’t laced with chemicals and preservatives. I want to train my kids up in things that matter. I am more concerned that they know how to budget than solve a quadratic equation. I am more concerned that they have hearts that know and love God and a desire to serve others than I am about them learning about Noah’s Ark for the 16th time. I am more concerned about their character than their achievements. I am more concerned about their health and their safety and their brains and their hearts than I am about them being able to identify with their peers by having the same experiences.

I want out of this race. My priorities for my kids are so much different than society’s. The government, the school, my neighbors, my friends, and yes, even the church have different priorities for my kids than I do.

So, what’s a mom to do?

Really, I don’t have an answer. What is a mom to do? 



I see my children’s childhood slipping away so quickly. I recently looked through pictures of our kids from this past year. They’ve clearly grown so much in just that small amount of time. Not just in stature, but emotionally, academically and spiritually too. These years are so precious. They are so brief. I am afraid that I’m going to spend the rest of my life trying to get these years back. These are good years. My kids are soaking up knowledge and information. They’re learning so much about the world around them, yet they’re innocent enough to not be jaded. They are silly. They're fun to be around. They love each other and their parents.

I fear that smooches and snuggles, Nerf Wars and Polly Pockets, family board games and bedtime stories will soon give-way to slammed doors, sassy attitudes, nights out with friends and late night study sessions. 

I want my kids to grow up. I want them to become mature and independent adults who love God, love others and make positive contributions to society.

But, on the other hand, I don’t want them to grow up too quickly. They will spend most of their lives as grown ups. They have just a few short years here to just be kids. How can I help them make the most of it?

I don’t know what the answer is, but I do know that the rat race is not a race I want my family to be in. Unlike my kids, I have been grown up long enough to become a bit jaded despite my optimistic personality. I find myself at a stage where I’m questioning everything our society deems “good” and “normal”. I’m not so sure I want my kids to be “normal”. I’m not so sure I want my family to be “normal”. I’ve seen the end of the end of the rat race… and nobody wins.

So I ask again, dear wise friends, what on Earth is a mom to do?

I'm Disappointed with Cars 2

Last week Rob and I did something crazy... something I thought we might end up regretting. We took our kids to the midnight showing of Cars 2. I figured we might end up regretting it if one or both of the kids ended up sleeping through the movie, or being an absolute wreck the next day. Much to our surprise, however, the kids did just fine, and enjoyed the experience of going to the movies in the middle of the night.

I did walk away disappointed though. As much as I enjoyed the experience, and even the movie, I was taken aback by the sheer volume of violence and intense scenes throughout this G rated kids movie.

I loved the original Cars movie probably more than any other kids movie out there. It was such a good movie, yet totally clean and absent of the evil villains that typically ruin most otherwise perfectly good kids movies. I loved that the essential conflict of the movie was an inner character conflict of Lightning McQueen. I loved that it could mesmerize a very young child without scaring them. It truly was an awesome movie for all ages!


In  Cars 2 the first five minutes of the movie was an intense fiery shoot out that left both of my kids covering their eyes in fear. In fact way too much of the movie consisted of needless violence including  multiple assassinations/assassination attempts. There were also several potentially perilous scenes that left both of my kids burying their heads in their blankets.

I also could have done without the bar scenes, potty humor, blatant political agenda and complicated plot line.

How this movie ended up with a G rating is beyond me. It's so disappointing to see a sequel so different from the original in terms of family friendliness that I was totally caught off guard. It was one show I thought I could take my five and seven year old kids to without previewing it or reading a review first (both of these are impossible since we saw the first showing at 12:01 am).

Pixar, I'm quite disappointed. My five year old Cars loving son has no desire to watch this movie again. I'd say you missed the mark of your target audience... by a long shot.

It was a fun family experience, but I'm sad it was wasted on such disappointing movie.

My Daughter is NOT a S_x Object

Dear Clothing Manufacturers,

My 7 year-old daughter is not a s_x object, please design your clothes accordingly.

Infuriatingly Yours,

A Concerned Mommy

This morning Leeann asked if I could put shorts on the grocery list. She knew that today is Friday and Friday is the day we do our grocery shopping. What she didn’t know is that clothes don’t come from the grocery store. She doesn’t know this because we rarely ever purchase clothes for her. She’s got older twin cousins that pass along hand-me-downs and a great grandma who, between those two sources, keep her outfitted better than your average 7 year-old without us actually having to purchase any clothing.

Because of this I rarely pay attention to what’s on the clothing racks at local stores. Until today that is.

On a quest to check out little girl shorts options (so I can plan and budget accordingly…our stash is low) I perused the little girls section hoping to find some that would work for Leeann now that the weather is getting warmer.

What I found instead of clothing fitting for a 7 year-old was a host of clothing that I can only describe as smutty—in 7 year-old sizes.

I strongly value modesty, but I’m no prude. My daughter is by no means forced to wear skirts that cover her ankles, shorts past her knees or shirts that have sleeves at least down to her elbows. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t mind if she were completely covered from head to toe every day of her life, but I realize that it’s not very practical.

I do however have a significant problem with the clothing that I saw on the racks of a very mainstream American clothing store this afternoon.

There were shorts (not in the pajama section, mind you) that resembled guys boxer shorts… only shorter. Much, much shorter. With tight fitting low cut tank tops to match. The longest pair of jean shorts I could find wouldn’t have come anywhere close to attaining the minimum preferred standards of falling below my daughter’s finger tips when her arms are dangling at her side.

And skirts? Why would I put my child in a skirt so short that it’s impossible to sit it a manner that doesn’t reveal the cartoon characters on her unmentionables?

Speaking of unmentionables—padded leopard print bras… in an A cup? With matching stringy panties? Seriously? And silky, lacy tank tops that look like they belong on a rack at Victoria Secrets, or a gift that I would give to a blushing bride-to-be hanging smack dab in the middle of the little girl’s summer clothes section… do you see anything wrong with this picture?

Don’t get me started on the selection of itsy bitsy bikinis! Is it so wrong to expect that my child be fully covered while she’s swimming? Triangle shaped bikini tops and high-cut string bikini bottoms hardly seem appropriate for any child wearing a size 5!

The smattering of skimpy v-neck spaghetti strap tank tops, low-rise, super short, gappy, panty-showing shorts and t-shirts with things like “flirt” written across the front is enough to make me want to scream in frustration. I don’t even care for shirts with attitude-type sayings on them, let alone ones that would describe my young daughter as a s_xualized being (I’m not too prude to write the word s_x on my blog by the way, I just don’t want search engines thinking that’s a topic people can find here when they are searching for that sort of thing… thanks for understanding!).  

And believe you me, the only thing “Juicy” on my child’s bottom should be the puddle of popsicle juice she accidently sat in while playing outside. Fully clothed. Like a 7 year-old ought to be!    

She’s ONLY 7!

What’s wrong with this picture? Why is it so difficult to find appropriate clothing for my very sweet, very innocent, very non-s_xual young daughter?

Oh yeah, because s_x sells, and we as parents are obviously purchasing these clothing styles in droves and parading our young daughters around in them… or the manufactures wouldn’t be designing them this way.

Maybe I should write a new letter?

Dear Parents,

Let your little girls be little girls for at least a little while longer. They’ll have enough s_xualized pressure and self-esteem issues due to factors beyond your control… please don’t add to it by drawing attention to their bodies with age-inappropriate clothing. Protect your children. Let them be innocent. Help them learn to value modesty and educate them as to why modesty is important. And please, please stop purchasing this kind of clothing. It makes it difficult for those of us who believe children should dress like children (not ex_tic dancers) to find clothing that is actually appropriate. Clothing manufacturers are giving us what they think we want based on what we buy. Let’s stand together and inform them that we want our kids to have the freedom to just be kids for as long as possible. They’ll grow up all too soon whether we like it or not. 

Frustratingly Yours,

A Very Concerned Parent 

Because the babies are important!

Leeann proudly displaying her baby bottle with a note she put inside.

Leeann wrote this on the card she put inside of her bottle.
Translation: "Leeann gave the money to the babies because the babies are important."

Just about a month ago Leeann held a coffee shop where she served hot cocoa and cookies to some of her favorite people, who in turn gave her money to donate to Options Pregnancy Resource Center. You can read more about her coffee shop, and fantastic customers here.

At that time, all she knew is that she was raising money to help mommies make good choices for their babies.

A week or two later she accidentally saw a picture of the holocaust when she snuck up behind me while I was watching a documentary about cancer on my laptop. That of course, led to a whole set of questions. And, because I am committed to not lying to my children, and her questions kept flying persistently (which I, personally, take as a sign that she very well might be ready for an honest, age-appropriate answer), she learned a lot that night.

By the end of the night she knew about the holocaust, abortion and exactly how babies are born. This all happened in the span of time it took Rob to go to the store. I'm pretty sure he'd rather of been a million miles away for this conversation!

At first she got really angry (when I told her about the holocaust). She literally stomped her feet, clenched her fists and through her tears just about started shouting, "Why would a mean man do that to those people? Did he even do that to children?"

When I told her that yes, children were killed too, she asked a lot of questions to try to wrap her mind around this travesty. I then took the opportunity to tell her that sometimes people think that other people are less than human. She asked if the mean man's soldiers were mean just like him. I told her that they really believed that these people weren't as human, or worthy of life as others, because they believed that what the mean man said was true.

This eventually led to a parallel example about abortion. I told her that the mommies who choose to abort their babies aren't mean mommies, they just wrongly believe that the babies growing inside their tummy aren't human, or worthy of life. And because of that belief, if they find out they are pregnant when they don't want to have a baby, they will sometimes choose to kill that baby, even if they don't believe that what they are doing is killing.

Then I told her that's why I was so proud of her for raising money to help mommies make good choices for their babies. Because, when they see a picture of the baby growing inside of their tummy, they see that the baby is real, that it's a human, and that it's alive. And most of the time when they see these pictures, they choose life for their babies.

She looked up at me from across the counter and said, "But I didn't have an abortion!"

Her words caught me off guard for a moment, but I knew what she meant. I told her she was right, Nai-Nai (that's what she calls her birth mom) chose life for the baby inside of her tummy. I went over and gave her a big hug and informed her that I'm sooooo very glad she did! She then excitedly told me that she's going to help other mommies chose life for their babies and then asked me to see what an ultrasound looks like.

So I showed her a picture of Titus, at 20 weeks.



Politics and religion aside, how can anyone deny the reality that this is a life? It has value, and meaning, and purpose. It is no less human than you and I. In fact, it's not an "it". It's a boy. He's my son!

This picture was taken at 19 weeks. Many abortions are preformed at this stage, or even later.  

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yesterday, Leeann got a chance to visit Options for the first time. She got a tour from the Director, and she got a chance to see where mommies get ultra sounds of their babies.

She also got to see the rooms where the mommies talk to the staff at Options and try to process what to do about an unexpected pregnancy.

Our friend, Mrs. Tina, works at Options and showed Leeann where the mommies and workers sit to talk.

In all, Leeann raised $136.81. We were told that ultrasounds essentially cost $50 each through Options. Leeann is elated to know that she raised enough money for nearly 3 mommies to see pictures of their babies. And her prayer for them is that they'll make good choices for their babies once they see these pictures.

That's my prayer too! Karen, the Director of Options, told Leeann that she's a life saver. You should have seen her face light up when Karen told her that!

Leeann is such a precious, thoughtful little girl. I know I'm a little bit biased, but I think the world of my beautiful daughter. And, I think the world is a better place with her in it. No--I'm sure of it. I wonder how different, how much better and brighter this world would be if the 46 million babies that have died since abortion became legal in 1973, had been given the precious gift of life?

We don't celebrate Valentine's Day... not like normal people anyway!

My first Valentine's Celebration with the world's most wonderful Valentine!

Rob's birthday is at the end of October and Titus' is in early December. Our anniversary is two weeks later, then of course, there's Christmas and New Years. Then, my birthday comes along just over a week after Valentine's Day, so we've never seen any reason to throw a Valentine celebration into the mix.

I think in the early years this decision was partially financially driven. But part of it was simply strategic too. It's the one day of the year that it's impossible to find a babysitter, a table at a restaurant, or flowers at a decent price. So for the first couple of years of our marriage we decided to celebrate Valentine's Day in June... just because we could! After all, it was nice to have a reason to celebrate at a time of the year where nothing else was going on (nor sucking up our discretionary money).

We stopped that tradition once we had kids though, because then we had Mother's Day and Father's Day to celebrate as well.

We decided instead, to take our kids out on dates on Valentine's Day. So each year, Rob takes Leeann out on a date, and Titus takes me out on a date. Our hope is that over the years we can use opportunities like these to teach our kids how to properly date. When they're this age it's a matter of giving Titus the opportunity to choose where he'd like to take me, and giving him the money to pay for the date as well.

And it's an opportunity for Leeann to be treated like the princesses she is by her daddy. We're hoping this will set the bar very high for her future suitors!

Besides, as the years go by, it will hopefully give our kids a reason to look forward to Valentine's Day without all of that awkward social pressure of hoping they get something special from someone special. And hopefully neither of our kids will be solemnly sulking in their bedrooms all by themselves because mommy and daddy are out on a special date, and everyone else is being smothered by love on this unrealistically romantic, overly commercialized, hyped up holiday where everything is over-priced and cheesy!

After all, the biggest disappointments come when your expectations aren't met. And it's hard not to have high expectations for Valentine's Day when everyone around you is talking about their big plans, their romantic spouses and their expensive gifts. And every advertisement you see makes it seem as though every man should break the bank and spend his whole year scheming as to how to make this one day the most special day of her year.

I, personally, would rather be surprised on a random day. Or rather, many random days throughout the year. I'd rather go to dinner on a night where I don't have to wait for 45 minutes to get a table. I'd rather get flowers from Rob because he wanted to get them for me--not because the calendar told him he had to. And frankly, I wouldn't approve of Rob spending exorbitant amounts of money on flowers that are going to die within the week!

I'm not saying that you shouldn't celebrate Valentine's Day. I'm sure it's a wonderful day for a lot of people. I am just grateful that we have found a way to celebrate love in way that makes sense for our family, even if it goes against the grain of the way our culture celebrates!

My take on Santa

A little over a month ago I wrote the previous post Liar, Liar Pants on Fire.

I got a number of comments when I posted it on facebook that were from people concerned about how we deal with imaginary characters. Most specifically, beloved cultural icons like the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus.

Many Christian families choose to liken these characters to Satan himself, and they keep their children from them, and anything having to do with them, at all costs.

Many Christian families fully embrace these characters and tell their kids that they are as real as the day is long.

We take a completely different approach than either of those described above.

But first, let me give you a little disclaimer: I’ve decided that my rants will not be persuasive in nature (I’m really not here to cause unnecessary upheaval or discord or to convince anyone they’re doing things the wrong way). Instead, I intend to continue writing about why we do things the way we do in our family. You can take it for what it’s worth. You can whole heartedly agree, or heatedly disagree. I by no means think I’m a mom who has it all together. I’m simply a mom, a wife and a follower of Christ who’s doing the best I can to teach my kids to love God and love people.

So with that being said, let me address the issue of fictional characters. For clarity sake, I’ll focus on Santa. Like it or not, Santa is a part of our society. He may not be a part of my religious belief, but he is part of my culture. He’s not the reason we celebrate Christmas in our family, but he’s deeply entwined in our culture’s Christmas celebration.

I do not make my children thwart their eyes when they pass him in the mall. In fact, just last night I let them sit on his lap at a local pizza joint. But, when they ask if he’s real, I tell them *gasp* the truth. No, he’s not real, he’s just a man dressed up in a costume. I still can’t figure out why so many people think I’m a bizarre parent for telling my kids the truth!

We tell them that other people choose to tell their children that Santa is real, and that it’s their choice to make. It’s also their choice to decide when to let their children know that he isn’t real. We’ve told our kids time and time again that it’s not their job to tell another child that Santa isn’t real. I can’t say they’ve always listened to that advice, but that’s what we continue to communicate.

But do I go around sucking the ‘joy’ out of the holiday season? Absolutely not! Do I make my kids take every non-religious symbol out of their holiday celebrations? No! Again, I think things like sticking your tooth under your pillow, trick-or-treating, decorating a tree, and collecting plastic eggs full of money in cute little baskets are very much a part of our how our culture celebrates. Our family includes some of these things because they are part of our culture. But we try really hard not to get these cultural icons confused with the true reason we celebrate a given holiday, mile-stone, or event.

But what I don’t do is lie to them. When they ask if one of these characters are real, I tell them no. When Leeann asked if I was the tooth fairy, I said yes. She knows this, yet she continues to stick each tooth beneath her pillow. It’s still fun!

When I first posted the Liar, Liar post a couple of people were concerned that my kids will miss out on the ‘magic’, or on ‘being a kid’. To that I would say that our kids actually experience a lot of ‘magic’ and plenty of opportunities for ‘being a kid’. It just looks a little differently in our family than it might look in most families.

My kids regularly play dress up and make believe. They have a closet full of dress up clothes and accessories that encourage them to use their imagination! I don’t squelch their imagination when they are pretending to be a doctor, a mom, a race car driver or Darth Vader. But, if at any point they take it too far, let it get out of hand, or ask me if they really are one of these things, I bring them back to reality.

In our family we also regularly surprise our kids. We let them know that we have a surprise for them and sometimes drag it out for days. They love the anticipation! We have just gotten back from a trip to Disneyland (our kids’ third trip), where we surprised our kids by waiting to tell them until the morning we left. And we let them participate in a magical world full of fairy tale characters. We watched as Titus excitedly fought Darth Vader, and Leeann lovingly embraced the princesses she’s grown to love from her favorite story books.

But again, when they ask if these people are real, we simple tell them that these are people who are dressed up and are playing the part of some of their favorite characters. It isn’t any less ‘magical’. It isn’t any less exciting. It isn’t any less fun. It’s just magical, exciting fun that is rooted in reality. If you ask me, that’s the best of both worlds!

My kids aren’t missing out on the excitement of Christmas because we don’t embrace the Santa myth. They are just excited for different reasons. And, I’m okay with that! And when they ask (which they haven’t yet) why people believe in Santa, I’ll happily tell them all about the progression of the Santa story.

When they ask if they can sit on Santa’s lap (as they did last night), I’ll let them. When they ask if they’ll get what they told Santa they wanted for Christmas, I tell them no. Santa doesn’t create gifts in his workshop. He can’t visit every child in the world all in one night. He certainly can’t get into our home because we don’t have a chimney. And, we don’t take kindly to anyone entering our home at night while we’re asleep! Besides, Leeann asked for a baby brother to be in mommy's tummy for Christmas. And I'm certain Santa's not in that business!

But, they are more than welcome to tell him what they want for Christmas when they see him out in the town, and they can most definitely have a candy cane if he offers one. But they can’t eat it until after dinner, and they can’t be disappointed if they don’t receive what they asked for. And that friends, that’s what we do with Santa Claus!

Why we celebrate Halloween

 (Please note: No dragons were slain and no loot was plundered in the making of this opinion post!)

I just wrote a quite lengthy post about why we celebrate Halloween in our family when a lot of Christian families choose not to celebrate this particular holiday.

I’m pretty sure I used way too many words to describe my reasoning behind it though, so I’m going to try again using as few words as possible to get my point across. Let’s see how this goes…

In a nutshell, I guess it boils down to the fact that I don’t see a reason not to celebrate it. It’s a rip-roarin’ fun holiday! Most of the reasons that Christians typically have for not celebrating Halloween lie in the holiday’s roots.

Which, if you put a lot of stock in the roots, I can see how you could be convicted not to celebrate it. I’m not condemning those who choose not to. I just don’t share that conviction.

I don’t really care about its roots; I care about what it means for me and my family today. And what it means for me and my family today is a chance to dress up (which we do often anyway, you ought to see our dress up closet!), to show up on the door step of some of our favorite people, and to get candy galore and eat so much we make ourselves sick.

We don’t conjure up evil spirits. We don’t try to communicate with the dead. We don’t play awful tricks on people who don’t give us candy. I don’t think that getting dressed up and trick-or-treating is somehow inadvertently worshipping evil anymore than I think someone who gives a gift to someone else on December 25th (a tradition with its roots based in the Christmas Story found in the Bible) is inadvertently worshipping Christ.

I can guarantee you that my kids are clueless as to the fact that Halloween has its roots in pagan tradition. And, even if they knew, I’d like to argue that it doesn’t matter as long as that’s not why we’re celebrating it today.

I think I could probably argue that we shouldn’t celebrate any holiday if we were focused solely on the roots of our traditions, or if we examined everything that happened during celebrations and steered clear of any that included ‘worldly happenings’. The way that we as Americans in 2010 celebrate any particular holiday is based on a complicated blend of Christian and pagan traditions that have been picked up, twisted, changed, and rearranged over the course of time.

It’s like saying that we shouldn’t celebrate the fourth of July because a lot of people blow things up on that day. Or that we’re going to avoid Valentine’s Day because it glorifies lust and has its roots in Greek mythology. Or that we shouldn’t color our mashed potatoes green on St. Patrick’s Day because a lot of people color their beer green. I could go on and on, and these aren’t even our major holidays that are steeped in tradition!

I know it's not quite this simple, but I'm trying to not dissect every aspect of Halloween in one short post.

The truth is, on Halloween I’m not celebrating anything. I’m not worshipping anything. I’m not even trying to redeem the holiday by pretending that I’m celebrating the harvest (because seriously, when did the harvest include candy--like yummy kit-kats and snickers--wrapped in shiny wrappers?). Honestly, I’m just enjoying a fun day with my children. I’m not going to pretend it’s any more complicated than that, because in my mind it isn’t!

Again, for those of you for whom it goes deeper and is more complicated, I respect your decision to refrain from celebrating Halloween. This is by no means any attempt at making anyone feel bad for the way they do, or don’t celebrate on this, or any other holiday.

I’m simply saying, though it isn’t anything profound, this is why we do what we do here in our own little corner of the world. Keepin’ it real…



10 Years

My high school reunion is 2 days away.

Once upon a time (about 10 years ago to be exact) I figured I'd strut into my class reunion with my head held high impressing people with my clout and status as some big-wig politician.

Don't laugh, it was my dream back then!

I'd be looking incredible (because honestly, who envisions themselves as anything less 10 years in the future?), dressed to impress.

I figured there was a decent chance I'd be single and childless, because I'd still be climbing the corporate ladder. I would have a list of accolades miles long that I'd be able to rattle off and impress people with, with a picture of my perfectly groomed pooch in my purse.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Instead, I'm trying to find something to wear that fits well, yet nicely covers the 15 extra pounds I'm carrying with me since graduation day. I'll try to wear my hair in such a way as to hide the grey's I've earned. And because they're getting harder and harder to hide I'll be grateful for the low lights at our venue!

I will undoubtedly find myself huddling with the other mommy's who will swap kid stories while we look over our shoulders at those who are sharing their corporate success stories.

Honestly, I will probably be momentarily jealous of those single gals who have the time, money and energy to focus on their outer beauty. Those who have gym memberships (and time to use them), nail techs and hair stylists. Those who flitter away on vacations or evenings out with friends whenever the fancy strikes. I might even be momentarily jealous of the pictures they carry around of their cute dog.

But after those brief moments of jealousy have passed, I will remember this picture in my head.

These two are so much cuter than even the cutest dog!

Building into them holds such a greater value then building up my resume. I'd rather have to save 6 times as long to take a vacation with my family than to have all the money in the world at my finger tips, but have to take my trips alone. I'd rather be educating my kids about the worthwhile things in life than to be writing policies and examining legislation. I'd rather be focused on winning their hearts, minds and souls, than winning elections.

I am grateful that I have a husband to come home to. One who is steady, and stable, and who I know will be there with me through it all. A man who will continue to love me in spite of the 15 pounds I gained, and the grey hairs and wrinkles that seem to get worse each day! I love walking through daily life with him. Being single can be fun, and adventurous. Being married to my best friend is so much better!

I may not be rich, or famous or even impressive in any way shape or form. However, I'm confident that I have the better end of the stick. I have the most important job in the world. I am a wife, and a mommy. A tried and true domestic engineer! It may not be impressive to those from the outside looking in. But those of us looking from the inside out... we know better.

We are the most famous, best dressed, most successful people and important people in the world. Well, at least in the eyes of our kids. But we know that those are the only eyes that matter!

Thank you God for not giving me what I 'planned and hoped and dreamed about' as a high school Senior. Thank you for watching over me, and protecting me, and guiding me, even before I decided to follow you. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to build into the eternal lives of the most precious beings in the whole world, my children. Thank you for bringing me a husband who loves you and serves you with his life. Thank you for changing my heart, my soul and my mind. Thank you for changing my perspective on life to see what's really important. You have been so good to me and my family. Deciding to follow you was the best decision I've ever made. These last 10 years have been the best years of my life. My life verse rings as true today as it ever has. "For we know God causes all things to work together for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28