Today was especially tough.
I'm no longer pregnant. The overwhelmingly long and painful process of having a miscarriage is complete. My vacation is but a memory. My kids are back in school today. I'm a bit of wreck <-----Just keeping it real here.
I woke up with a sore throat (thanks for sharing Rob).
I spent the day reflecting on my 'feelings' which just resulted in more intense 'feelings'.
On the way home from school not one, but both kids admitted to eating breakfast regularly (their school serves breakfast to every kid in their class in the mornings) at school. This is something that they've both been in trouble for before and they both knew they were making a disobedient choice by doing. Not to get political here, but we strongly feel that it's our responsibility to feed our kids, not the schools. Our kids have plenty of food available to them. Besides, I hardly think Trix cereal bars count as a nutritious breakfast. But I don't want to stand on this soap box too long, so I'll move on.
While both kids were reading on their beds waiting for daddy to come home to figure out what their consequences should be for their choices (I was in no position to think rationally at any point during this day), I started to make dinner only to find out that I'm mysteriously out of rice. In the process of looking for rice I found a bag of rotten pears that I had put in the pantry to ripen. In the process of getting rid of and cleaning up after the bag of rotten pears I got nasty rotten pear juice on my fat jeans (don't pretend your shocked that I wrote the words "fat jeans" in a post... every woman has them, it's just that few will admit it!) that just came out of the dryer this morning. My fat jeans are the only ones that I feel comfortable in these days, so going without them while they make their way through my never ending mountain of laundry is frustrating.
Speaking of never ending chores, my counters and sink were FULL of dishes. My kitchen is usually clean, or at least really close to clean. Tonight, it looked like last night's dinner exploded and no one bothered to clean it up. Mostly because it was a meal that required several pans and... well... no one bothered to clean it up! So last night's dinner dishes remained and breakfast and lunch dishes got thrown into the mix too. This definitely didn't put me in the mood to magically create a new meal in place of the chicken stir fry and rice I'd put on the menu.
Back to dinner. I looked at my meal plan and realized my alternate dinners for the week would all take too long to make as I had to get Rob off to a meeting tonight.
So I made green smoothies. We've eaten out a ton lately due to being on vacation so I decided we needed some extra spinach in our smoothies tonight. I plopped 3 kiwi's, a mango, a banana and some fresh strawberries and some yogurt I bought the other day (that neither of my kids liked... what a great way to hide the yucky stuff!) in a blender and topped it off with some spinach. Nearly the entire bag. Sensing my emotional instability (it's hard to ignore on a night like tonight) Rob did some dishes while I chopped up fruit and assembled the smoothies. Apparently I added way too much spinach because Rob said it tasted really bitter and, well, spinachy. Leeann didn't care for it either but Titus gobbled it up without complaint. Good kid!
In effort to redeem the horrible batch of smoothie mix I had sitting on the counter I went out to the garage to get some frozen blueberries and strawberries. I mixed a few handfuls in with the bitter slush already in the blender then I stuck the strawberry and blueberry bags back inside the freezer.
While standing there with the freezer door open I couldn't help but notice two cartons of ice-creamy goodness staring back at me. I literally looked at the (hopefully) redeemed smoothie mix, then back at the cartons. Good vs. evil. Nutritious vs. Not-So-Nutritious (I refuse to say ice cream is unhealthy ). I took a step toward the smoothies and closed the freezer door.
Then I did what any reasonable woman in my current emotional state would have done. I put a lid on the smoothie mix and stuck it in the fridge. Then I started to go toward the cupboard that holds our teeny bowls that we usually serve ice cream in. Then, due in part to the fact that Rob already left and I had no accountability for the less-than-good choice I knew I was about to make, I did an about-face and made my way toward the cupboard that holds the cereal bowls. I got one out, set it on the counter and pulled out both cartons of ice cream. I polished off the carton of Tillamook Mudslide (there was only a half-scoop or so left anyway... don't judge!) then I proceeded to add several scoops of Safeway Select Cookie Dough ice cream to my bowl.
Without thinking twice I added a little bit of milk and some chocolate syrup because that's what kind of
Then, in front of my children who were drinking their green smoothies and nibbling on animal crackers, I proceeded to eat my 'dinner'. And I liked it. The end.
p.s. I'm wondering if it would be inappropriate to sneak into my kids' Halloween candy for dessert?
p.s.s. I'm pretty sure I need to get these fat jeans washed up tonight. It appears that I may very well need them for tomorrow too!