Though I quit my job of 4.5 years as a part-time Children's Ministry Director at the end of last year, I have yet to feel the effects of getting to be an official stay at home mom. Until today.
Well, kind of. I've been super nannying 2-3 days a week for a friend of mine who went back to work to cover some people who went on maternity leave at her former place of employment. So, for the last 3 months I have still been employed, though in a different capacity than before.
And, the reason I titled this post "I'm finally a stay at home-ish mom" is that I will continue to super nanny, but only a few days a month.
So today marks the first day that I'm really feeling like a stay at home mom. I have relatively few commitments on my plate right now, and I don't plan to make many more commitments until I get my feet grounded in my new role.
With my new role comes new responsibilities. But now, my work won't be rewarded with a paycheck. I confess, I do like getting paychecks! Now, my responsibilities will be rewarded with the knowledge that I'm blessing my family. And while that sounds good and noble, I honestly hope it's enough to keep me motivated to work for the Lord and for my family as I would be working for an employer.
I was talking with Rob last night about this newfound stage in my life. I'm honestly fearful that I'll fail my family. It's one thing to have a half-way organized home when I'm juggling a part-time job on top of the 183 other commitments that seem to sneak their way into my week.
It's another thing to have a half-way organized home when my job is managing my home and my family. In the past I've trusted that my efforts, however meager at various stages, had to be enough. I had nothing more to give.
But now, looking forward, my job is to put my efforts and energy into my home and my family first. I feel like my job is now working outside of my skill set. In case I haven't made it clear before, I'm not the world's greatest housekeeper. It doesn't come naturally to me.
I find great joy in a clean, organized home, but I don't exactly find great joy in the journey it takes to get there. If I could choose what to do with any given day, housework would be somewhere near the bottom of that list. Though, I know it's important. I know it blesses my family, and others. And now, it's one of my primary job descriptions.
I thought being a working mom was hard. I'm beginning to wonder if being a stay at home mom is going to be even more difficult!
I am now accepting tips, tricks and short-cuts for keeping my house as nice as possible while exerting the least amount of energy possible in the shortest amount of time. Oh, and I'd like get a very part-time job that also pays me well (gotta get to Disneyland somehow!), while only doing things that I love, and only during times convenient for me. Is this all too much to ask?
Here's to learning to enjoy the journey...
3 comments:
Oh Robyn I so know what your feeling. My only advice is to not let house work come before the kiddo's, and your sanity. I love, love, love, a clean house, but no matter how much I clean a few minutes after family enters it, it isn't so clean anymore. So I'm daily self talking to myself, telling myself that a somewhat dirty house means a happy family lives here.
Aw, thanks for the advice Windy, you're sweet! I think I need to define what somewhat dirty/acceptable is for our family so I have a realistic standard to live by!
You'll do great, just add a little at a time, and review your priorities. Put time with God first and the rest just falls into place as you become wiser. But you already know that. So don't worry, you'll do fabulous.
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