Friday, April 8, 2011

Our Love Story—Brand New Territory


Once the initial high of our talk finally wore off, I started to panic a little. As floored as I was to learn that this man that I had come to deeply admire shared at least enough affection in return to warrant wanting to get to know me better, I was still torn.

I was torn because as much as I wanted Rob to whisk me up off of that ugly golden colored couch and carry me off into the cherry blossom lined sunset where we could live happily ever after, there was something I wanted even more than seeing that fantasy come true.

I wanted to do this God’s way.

And with two quality guys both expressing their affection toward me, how was I to determine what God’s desire for this situation was? After all, the outcome of this scenario might very well shape my entire future. You know—minor things like where I would live, who I would marry and the DNA make-up of my children. No big deal! No pressure, right?

And what if I made the wrong choice? What if I ditched J for Rob only to discover that Rob didn’t really enjoy getting to know me, but now J was no longer interested because I ditched him for his good friend?

Or, what if I let go of my desire for Rob and started dating J only to have those feelings come creeping back up again?

On one hand, if things didn’t work out with whichever one I chose, there might always be a chance with the other one. Then again, what if I tried things out with one of them and the other ended up dating someone else in the meantime? Then what? Or what if the other felt too burned and/or rejected to give me a second chance?

Why, oh why did these two not duke it out before expressing their intent? This was a lot of pressure for a young lady who was just beginning to get a grip on living life God’s way… let alone dating God’s way!

How does someone even go about making a decision like this? I didn’t want to chase my lofty dream guy and lose a great friend in the process. Then again, I didn’t want to settle for a great friend and lose the chance to follow my dream either. I felt like either way I was taking a big risk!

I was putting a lot of pressure on myself at this point. Though, neither Rob or J was telling me I had to choose between them. Rob was simply telling me that he wanted to get to know me better before I started dating J. And neither man was telling me that I could only get to know one of them at a time. Neither put a time-line on me, or any pressure to make a choice. But I still felt the internal pressure. Eventually a choice would have to be made. I certainly couldn't go on hanging out with both of these guys indefinitely! 

So over the next couple of weeks I found myself pouring my heart out to my accountability partner and friend, Krista. I spelled out the details of my conversations with these guys, and we talked about pros and cons, possible scenarios and outcomes.

We prayed and laughed together and she let me dump a whole host of emotions on her as I tried to understand God’s will for my life. She encouraged me to seek God diligently in prayer over this situation before I made any final decisions. And so I did.

I began filling the pages of my prayer journal with cries out to God to make his will in this situation known. To close and open doors as he saw fit. To make the path clear. To protect my heart. And to protect the hearts of these two men as well.

Despite my abundance of previous dating experiences I was entering brand new territory this time around. I was used to being asked out, or asking someone else out, becoming their girlfriend and gallivanting around in a dysfunctional relationship until one of us decided it was time to part ways.

These two (and myself as well) were far more interested in trying to determine God's will then to conquer the object of our affection. This was new territory for me, and something felt so right about it. Despite the fact I was caught between two guys, I liked the way this was unfolding. They were having open dialogues with each other about this strange circumstance they found themselves in, and they were both man enough to determine that they needed to give me all of the information and time I needed to determine where to go from there.

No manipulation. No game play. No back stabbing. No high-pressure, self-centered, lustfully motivated behavior. I could get used to this!

Click on the "Our Love Story" tag at the top of the page to see other love story posts, or to start from the beginning.

5 comments:

Beckys blog said...

It is nice to have options...especially when they are civil about it. :)

I remember the day Thad proposed, I had to call the other guy and cancel our date for that night because I was engaged now. :)

Robyn said...

Oh seriously? I had no idea you had a two guy dilemma too. All the way up to engagement day though? That's crazy stuff. Now I'm dying to hear your love story!

Beckys blog said...

There really was no contest. It was more of a casual date with a guy whose parents were hoping we would get together. Remember, Thad and I broke up, then got back together again a week (or less) before he proposed.

Robyn said...

I am beginning to remember this now. I still think you should write it down. I personally, think it's been great fun to do so!

SaraJane G Campbell said...

I lived your story with you and yet I still hate having to wait for the next part. I knew I should have waited till you were all finished and now I can't. :-)