Saturday, July 17, 2010

The message I'm sending

I realized just a few minutes ago as I was vacuuming the floor in my bedroom that I think perhaps I'm inadvertently sending my husband a message. And I'm not sure it's a good one, or one I'm intending to send. But, if actions speak louder than words... I'm sending it just the same.

Let me back up. I've written a fair amount on this blog about my house keeping skills (or lack thereof) and my attempts at improving them lately. My house is by no means unsanitary, or even typically cluttered. It's not unsightly or out of control. But it isn't usually super clean, neat or tidy either. It's lived in.

I get motivated to clean and do everything all at once. My house is spotless. Then I give myself the 'break I deserve' after working so hard and watch my house slowly deteriorate until the next wave of motivation hits. In the mean time I only clean here and there as necessary (like I keep the dishes and counters clean, but fail to sweep or deal with the pile of clothes at the foot of my bed).

Yesterday I got a call that someone wants to come see our house tomorrow. So today--I cleaned. And cleaned and cleaned and cleaned. Rob worked in the yard and the kids 'helped' us both a bit. We've spent the day busily preparing our house to show.

On days when we have company coming over, I spend the whole day cleaning my house from top to bottom. I like a presentable house. There are only a few good friends that I don't at least make some attempt at cleaning for before they come over. And if you're coming over for the very first time, my house will sparkle for you and nothing will be out of place!

For whatever it's worth, I'm capable of being an excellent house keeper. I just choose not to exercise that skill very often... hence my struggle with the state of my home.

My husband is far more orderly than I am. He likes everything to have a place and he prefers that those things actually reside in the place they belong. He shuts doors and drawers after he opens them and puts his shoes away after he takes them off. Novel, right?

I know he really enjoys a clean house and a comfortable home. I know it's a great way to help him want to come home after a stressful day at work. I know it's a small, no, a big way I can show him how much I love and appreciate him and want to do something nice for him. Yet, rarely do I do that. I clean for others. I clean for showings, and small group, and company... but rarely do I make sure my house is in tip top shape for the most important person in my life. Kind of sad, huh?

Up until a few minutes ago I'd never thought about the fact that I'm unintentionally sending him a message that other people are more important than him by the manner in which I care for my home. I'm definitely going to add this to my list of things to work on. Keeping it real...


becca banana said...

I was brushing my teeth the other night and a lightbulb went on... I don't wait until my teeth are crusty, brown, filled with icky stuff to brush them, I just do it every morning and night without thinking.

Why can't vacuuming and dust and getting rid of clutter be the same way? The Flylady thing makes more sense, just gotta put it into practice until it becomes a habit (speaking to myself here!). :)

Anonymous said...

Robyn: Can I quote this entry for a post I'm doing over on Offering Hospitality? It's totally relevant to my post for next Monday!!

T & K said...

It's hard isn't it? I try really hard to have the floors clear and the dishes done for when my husband comes home...but sometimes it just doesn't feel like it can ever happen! I like to think that making good, wholesome, home cooked meals helps make up for it, but you're right...if company was coming I'd find a way to do both! Man, now I'm exhausted. : ) Thanks for the post.