My heart just about leapt out of my chest every time Rob crossed my path, or even my mind. But again, J was still hanging around, waiting patiently for me to figure out where I stood. And, while thoughts of him didn’t create the same heart-leaping moments, he was a really solid, good, godly young man. Why not him?
I spent an unreal amount of time during those couple of weeks praying, reading my Bible and diligently seeking God’s will in this situation.
At some point during that agonizing two and a half week wait, I found myself once again sitting on Krista’s couch, trying to hash out this situation at hand. I had previously told her that I’d thrown out a bit of a fleece to the Lord. It wouldn’t make it break it for me necessarily, but I was praying that the man God had for me would pray with me. After all, I really wanted to marry a man who would diligently seek God in prayer with me, who would lead me spiritually.
Over that time I saw each of these guys here and there on campus, at church and at Ekklessia, but didn’t spend much in the way of one on one time with either of them. I tried my best to remain cool, calm and collected any time I was in their presence, despite the fact I was anxious, flattered, confused, hopeful, excited and nervous as all get-out!
Neither of them prayed with me however (nor did either of them really have much of a chance to), so my ‘fleece’ kind of just hung out there, blowing in the wind.
My time in prayer had been nothing short of awesome over those weeks. God was giving me such a peace about whatever it was that was on horizon. Yet, I’ll be honest, I was still quite nervous! I simply couldn’t figure out how to make a choice between these two guys.
J was definitely the safer bet. We had already spent plenty of time together and we had already established a pretty good friendship. He knew what he was getting into with me, and he was okay with that. And again, he was my age. All of the logical signs pointed to him.
But, Rob. Rob was so… Rob! Choosing him would be risky. For all I knew we’d go out on one date, he’d find out what he was really getting into and he’d run to the hills as fast as humanly possible!
Didn’t he know that I wasn’t his type? Didn’t he realize that I was so much younger and so much… less mature than he was? He wanted to be a pastor. Couldn’t he see that I wasn’t pastor’s wife material? Why was he messing with my heart like this?
As much as my heart longed for Rob, my logical side had all bet settled on J. He just made more sense!
Then, right there on Krista’s couch, she offered up the words of wisdom I’d been waiting for. This was the light-bulb over the head moment. These were the words that tipped the scales.
“Robyn, could you date either of them without always wondering what it would have been like to have dated the other?” said Krista.
It didn’t take me more than 3 seconds to settle on an answer for that question.
If I dated J, I would have always wondered what might have been if I’d make the riskier choice. If I dated Rob, however, and he was to whisk me off into the sunset where we would live happily ever after, I could do so without looking back.
I drove a stake in my decision right then and there. I was going to go out on a limb and take a risk. I was going to go out on a date with Rob, and continue going out on dates with him as long as he kept asking.
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