Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Dear Little One-- It's a...

Dear Little One, 

From the moment I found out about you I was utterly convinced that you were a girl. I envisioned frilly tutus and hair bows. I day dreamed about an introverted, quiet little girl with wavy brown hair and glasses sitting by my side quietly playing with her dolls. 

I envisioned a room full of Minnie Mouse style polka dots, and I collected a board full of little girl ideas on Pinterest. 

I had compiled a list of names so long that I knew I would have a hard time figuring out what to call you. Lydia, Elizabeth, Hattie, Norah, Hailey, Emmaline, Naomi, Lucy...

A few weeks before we found out your gender however, we decided what your name might be if you were a boy. We had compiled a short list but none of them were "sticking"... all the more reason I was convinced you were a girl. We had so many names to choose from!

But then a boy name stuck. Suddenly I had a hard time envisioning you as a girl, because I just couldn't let go of this name. I looked Titus in the face and thought, I think I could wrap my mind around cars, trucks, trains, and wild sound effects.

After our scare a few weeks back I decided to get the blood test that gives information about the makeup of your chromosomes. If something were wrong with your development, I wanted to know. Also, I was very persuaded by recognizing that in finding out more about your chromosomes I would find out your gender.

So, late one night (at 9:30 pm!) my doctor called and said, "Baby appears to be healthy on all accounts so far. Would you like to know the gender?"

"Yes! I would love to!" I whispered, trying not to draw attention to my late night phone call.

Then she told me the news...

This whole time I had thought I would be disappointed if I didn't end up getting to dress you up in tutus and hair bows.

But I wasn't. Not even a little. I knew that instant that you were exactly what our family needed! I rubbed my belly and tried your name out in my head, then I rushed in to tell daddy, who was also surprised, but oh-so excited! Titus was the only one who thought you were a boy. The rest of us were convinced you would be a girl!

The next day we told the kids with a blue-themed lunch and they also quickly became excited to learn a little bit more about who you are. Titus is a little bit concerned about having to share his room with a little one who will try to eat his legos, but I'm sure we'll work something out over time!

Yesterday we got to see you on our 20 week ultrasound scan. From what we could see, and what we were told, you are developing just perfectly and you are definitely a boy! We saw your brain, heart, kidneys, ambilical cord, gender, spine, limbs, and your sweet, sweet face. What a relief to my still anxious soul. Sometimes this whole thing just seems unreal, and far too good to be true!

You were (once again) quite active. This is the third ultrasound tech that has commented on how active you are. I have a sneaky suspicion that you might be less like the docile little girl I pictured and more like a rough and tumble, fearless little guy who never stops moving! The good news is, I definitely have experience in this department. Your brother went straight from standing to running and still has a hard time sitting still. I'm not going to lie, I get a little exhausted just thinking about chasing you around. I'm not 24 this time!

Regardless of whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, tall or short, focused or fidgety, etc., I pray you always know how much I love you. I look forward with great anticipation to learning who God has created you to be. It is my hope, dear son, that I can be a small part of helping you reach your full God-given potential. It is a joy I look forward to with the greatest of anticipation!



p.s. My friend Eroica took the family photos. I can guarentee this won't be the last time she'll take your picture!     


Stacey Salsbery said...

Yay! Yay! Yay! Congrats you guys!! So excited for you! Stacey

Robyn said...

Thank you Stacey, we are excited too! Thanks for commenting over here as well, these are the comments that will last that this little one will come to treasure. He will probably never see all of the ones posted on the facebook links to these letters!

Colleen Beard said...

Tears of joy for you, Rob, Leeann and Titus! I absolutely LOVE reading your journey with this precious, long awaited, little guy!

Crista Hagan said...

When do WE get to know his name??!!

Congratulations! I've decided that boys are a VERY special brand of amazing :)

Robyn said...

When he's born... ;)

Danielle Marshall said...

Congratulations Robyn and family! So happy for you! Your posts always bring me to tears, tears of joy and also I suppose also tears of understanding the anxiousness that comes with a miracle baby. We are so very happy for you! Thank you for sharing the journey ♡♡♡